Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
