The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
