im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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