Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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