people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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