Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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