every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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