S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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