Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
