i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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