ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
