If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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