Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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