I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
