If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
