Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize