If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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