Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
