i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
