I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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