try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
