Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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