You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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