This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
