Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
