The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
