Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
