he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
