I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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