We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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