i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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