and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
