Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
