I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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