Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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