Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
