remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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