Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just threw up on my dentist
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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