Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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