genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
