I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
