he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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