I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
