Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
