Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
