my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
