ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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