I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
