I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
