i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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