I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
