Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
