I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize