this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
