so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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