I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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