did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
