Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
