I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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