Soap is not a condiment
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
