I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
