I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
