i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
pray to the hookup gods
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
