When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
